Kids say the darndest things

Today, I flew from Oregon to Colorado to visit my mother. (We're on spring break.) Next to me on the plane was a little boy, maybe six or seven years old. He had quite a few good quotes:

Mother: Will you stop doing that? You have to pay to watch movies.
Son: You can't control me!
Mother: You're mine until you're eighteen. When did you think you'd have free reign? (Jokingly.)
Son: When I'm eight I'll be all grown up! I'm gonna move out and get a job and you can't tell me what to do anymore and [my brother] will stop taking my soldiers! (Deadly serious; "soldiers" was talking about those ubiquitous little plastic soldiers, supposedly beloved by young boys everywhere. His mother had packed some for the flight.)

Directed at me: Hey lady? Hey, lady. (I looked over. He kept saying it.) Hey lady. Hey, lady, hey. Lady, hey. Hey lady. Hey lady! Hey lady! Hey lady!
Me: Yes?
Boy: You look old! You have a book! Books are for old people. Old people read books. Are you old? Do you have a tv? Is it in color? Television is in color these days, you know. ...You've heard of tv, right? (Suspicious look.)

(I'll be 21 this summer.)

But hey, I guess the flight could have been worse. Typical travel: the flight attendants thought they were funny, the kid behind me kicked my seat most of the way and fiddled with the tray for the rest of it, and a baby two rows back started crying and wouldn't stop for 45 minutes. My suitcase chafed my hand and, of course, my period started. But you know what they say -- all's fair in love and planes?