A million times more terrifying than awesome.

Not exactly safe for work today.. xD

A LemonBoob picture prompted the memory of this story:

A friend of my mother's had breast cancer about ten years ago. (She was fine after surgery and has never had any further issues. Also, this is not the funny part.) She had her nipple and part of one breast removed. At the time, the oncologists would refer cancer survivors to a tattoo artist who would give them discounts on tattoos where their nipples were in order to lessen the visual shock.

My mother's friend, though, didn't get a 3-D nipple-looking tattoo.

What did she get?

An eyeball.

Why?

She decided that if people were going to be staring at her chest, she might as well be looking right back at them.

These are the people I grew up with.

Midnight Safeway runs

My roommate thought of something she thought she needed. She spent the better part of twenty minutes trying to persuade us to go with her to the grocery store to get it. Then, right before we left...

"What was I going to get at Safeway?"

/facepalm

We spent almost an hour running back and forth, picking things up and then changing our minds and putting them back. We ended up getting coffee and sweets - tiramisu for her, éclairs for me, popcorn for Nikki (though that's not really a sweet).

Now buzzed, tired, caffeine'd Lem has returned home. I lounge on the sofa, and she takes my hands, touches my fingertips together, looks soulfully into my eyes, and says:

"We went to Safeway. Look, hands! And fingers! They go like this!"

Welcome to my apartment.

Midnight Milkshakes

As you may or may not know, my apartment building has quiet hours. On weekdays, they start at 10:00 pm. One of my roommates, however, wanted a milkshake. She had already put the ice cream into the blender before realizing how much noise the blender would make.

I suggested that we put a pillow underneath it to insulate the blender from the counter, so it wouldn't make as much noise. However, another of my roommates decided that instead of a pillow, he was going to wrap the blender in towels, jackets, and blankets:

And now he can't reach the button.

He had so much trouble getting down to the blender buttons that he decided some leverage was needed.

Hello, roommate's butt! Still can't reach the button.

Yay, milkshakes are done! Bottoms up! :D

Hey! Use a cup! That's why we have them.

"Hey, can I have some?"

I guess she doesn't want to share. Go ahead and try, but I'd count my fingers afterward if I were you.

And Tim intervenes.

"No, really, use a cup. Let me take that."

Such a thing as "too much"

A friend of mine has started doing some modeling recently, and has been showing people the pictures. She sent them to a few guys I know (including my boyfriend), and apparently they were much more sexual than anticipated. (Potentially looking for attention?)

She also sent them to a friend of mine. Let's call him Fennel.

Fennel is gay.

And, in apology of posting so infrequently, a few more quotes from my roommate:

While doing dishes: "Hello, mister spoon. Let's dry you off. Dry dry dry dry dry..."

Looking very closely at the refrigerator: "The fridge is made of alligator skin! White chocolate alligator skin! If you eat it, it will taste like white chocolate alligators. There's lines in the fridge!"

Looking closely at another roommate's shirt: "His shirt! It has so many lines! They go vertically and diagonally and horizontally and it has triangles and it is so cool!"